His Makua Bride.

Heidi Baker stood at the front of the church on the verge of tears as she explained to the class about an experience she had on the outreach the past weekend. "The poverty in this village surpasses any other- the rampant disease and infestation of the Montakenya (could be spelled wrong) worm are beyond imagination." My heart turned over in my chest. "We shared Jesus with them and what they really need is His love. Love always looks like something." My heart turned again. "I need a team to go in low and slow and pick out all of the detrimental Montakenya worms from their toes and fingers. We must soak them in kerosene to kill the worms and take them out one by one." My heartbeat is rapidly increasing as silent tears flow down my cheeks. Holy Spirit, what are You doing? "I need volunteers, three students," she finished. Plenty of hands went up in unison with my own, but I was not one of the three chosen. Okay, I tried Jesus. I wasn't chosen, so I guess I'm not going. I have no idea what words were spoken after that because for the next hour God was breaking my heart for the Makua village. I didn't know how I would be able to go because only three people were chosen- and I wasn't one of them! If I am supposed to go, Daddy, and You said I am, I'll need You to sort it out because I am powerless in this situation!

I am currently typing this on my phone as me and around 40 others- medical staff, visitors, and a few other Harvest Schoolers- are bouncing up and down on the crammed-full cameon headed towards this Makua village. I don't know what God is about to do, nor have I set expectations for Him and this completely unexpected trip. The only thing I know is that God somehow orchestrated it to where I- who in the world's eyes offer nothing to this team because I speak only English and have no medical experience- am going to serve these people. Whether I am to spend the next day and a half combing through beautiful black flesh in search of the life-sucking Montakenya worm and soaking limbs in kerosene, or if I am just supposed to smile and intercede for this village matters not- I am here to love. God has given me this second outreach as a gift. He tells me "Daughter, I am not finished with you in Africa. I have so much more to show you and teach you, I want to give you the blessing of serving and to drink from the cup of joy and suffering (a privilege denied to the angels) with my children in this village. I saved a spot especially for you because you are the perfect one for this job. I love you and have sent you to share this love with them."

What an honor. That He counts me worthy enough to pick out worms from my brothers' and sisters' feet in the bush bush of Africa is beyond my understanding. That He supernaturally made a way for me to go- how He loves me enough to do that for me- is beyond my understanding. Exactly what love is supposed to look in the midst of such desperation, poverty, and brokenness is beyond my understanding. But I do know that love always looks like something- and for some reason on the 24th of July in the bush bush of Mozambique love looks like a 20-year-old girl from Midland, Texas sitting in the dirt as she soaks dirty, wretched, beautiful feet in buckets of kerosene picking worms from the bodies of the Makua village.

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I have now returned and just want to come in with a follow up: we were able to spend a solid part of the day serving the people in the village. At any given time there were around 20 of us picking out worms from the feet of children and adults and others soaking and handing out socks and shoes. Words simply cannot convey the brokenness one feels as you glare into the tangible desperation that was there. If I didn't have the Living Hope inside of me I would have just let myself become overwhelmed and shut down. Feet didn't have sores on them, they had chunks missing. Whole heels and toes were deteriorated off the rest of the foot. I took a picture so I could remember the things I witnessed- although I wasn't there to be a photographer so I only have a few- but here is an example of one of the medium cases (in other words, yes there were feet more needy than this):

BUT amidst all of this I say these things with great joy. Something is being done about it, praise God! Another team left again today to continue picking worms out of toes... And if they don't finish, they'll go again and again and again. No one had to even tell me this because I promise once you see it with your own eyes, you make dang sure absolutely everything possible is done to fix it! What a perspective shift it was for me. That grungy sock I find underneath my dryer covered in lint is a blessing. I cant complain when there is a black line of dirt under my toenails- those kids would give anything to have toenails under which heaps of dirt can accumulate (for most nails were deteriorated and indistinguishable like the feet above).

          Wow, Jesus, thank You for sending teams to this village to do Your work and show Your love to them. I know it is not Your will for your beloved children to suffer from such deep physical pain, so I thank You for using me to begin to remedy the situation- what a privilege it was to serve them. Daddy God, I pray You continue to heal these people even as I travel back to my first-world life. Help me keep my third-world perspective as I step back into "normal" life. 

          I love You, Papa.

Religion. Relationship. Romance.

Well, I'm over halfway through my time here and am sad that this is my first time to post an update; honestly I could type pages about each day because so much happens! I've learned Internet isn't the most accessible thing here- I mean let's get real there are sounds of rejoicing resounding throughout the camp when we get running water. Yeah, my concept of luxurious changed pretty rapidly. Anyway, hold on to yer britches because I've got heaps (the word "heaps" is lovingly contributed by my Australian mates) to cover, plus who knows when I will get Internet again! 

So just to run through a typical day here real quick we have class from around 8-1:30 and then eat a scrumptious lunch of rice and beans. We usually have a night activity as well, whether that be another class or a house family night (I live with 7 other beautiful girls) to just go deeper in relationships with one another... Every weekend there are three groups that go out to various people groups within the country, proclaiming the good news to the bush bush of Africa! How cool it is to get continually poured into here and also be pouring out and sowing into something with astounding Kingdom impact. Jesus has used these outreaches to make blind eyes see, deaf ears hear, lame feet walk, and most importantly stir affections for Him, resulting in a multitude of salvations (my guess would be several hundred so far!)

Because I have been here for quite a while without being able to update there are so many things that have happened it would be hard to cover, so I think I'll just transition more into what God is doing in my feeble little heart, with the hopes that someone out there can relate! (I also want to attach a disclaimer that everything I say is completely out of love and respect so please read this with an attitude of honor). Most people will understand what I mean when I say growing up in the church can be both a positive and negative thing. I am so thankful for my parents instilling within me a heart for Jesus. Growing up, the church did a very good job of making the distinction between religion and relationship. It is very clear (James 2:19) that simply knowing of Jesus will not suffice, you must know Him as a friend, hence the relationship. However, the counter to this is that while the church teaches relationship well it does not necessarily teach romance. It's not that I was taught unbiblically or incorrectly, I just think that I personally didn't grasp the gravity of a romance with my Savior. Seriously, friends, Jesus doesn't want to just know you... He wants to lavish His love on you! His unchanging, inerrant, overwhelming, powerful, inexpressible , brilliant, better-than-any-fairytail, perfect love on you. There is nothing you could ever do to make Him love you any less! But you know what else? There is nothing you could do to make Him love you any more! His love is unchanging. What does change, though, is our saying "yes" to His love. The more we yield our hearts to Him, the more He can romance us! Our only job is learning how to receive. This all goes to say that this is primarily what my adventure here has been about: learning to say "yes." Previously my response would be that I do not deserve more of His love, or any for that matter! And while we all know Romans 3:23, we must keep in mind this beautiful truth: God stands outside of time. So at any given instant, God is capable of seeing us as perfected in Heaven. Our limited human minds think, " I am sinful and undeserving." But He sees us and says "You are perfect, and I love you. In fact, I died so that I could love you forever. Come away with me, my Bride!" I don't know about y'all, but I refuse to refuse His love anymore!

I seriously could write for hours about the things that the Holy Spirit has shown and revealed to me, but I will truncate it down to this:

It may not be easy all the time, but it is very, very simple. Love Jesus with every ounce of your being, every cell of your body, every breath you manage to breathe. Rest and abide in His perfect love, for it casts out any fear you could ever entertain (1 John 4:18). I am His daughter and do not have to strive for His love. Why strive for something I already have? Slow down in this busy world... there is a reason Jesus spent 30 years in intimacy and 3 years in ministry, just sayin! 

I love you all dearly, and want to thank each of you for your overwhelming support! I  can promise that what you have sown into has been beyond any expectation I had coming in- which is insane because I thought I was hitting in the major leagues with my expectations- and has had a lifelong impact on my perception of ministry! I cannot wait to share, and hope I have a chance to sit and talk with anyone who wants to hear more!

My Grand Adventure: Day 4.

I have officially spent the night in a foreign country. Sorry Pampers, I'm a big kid now. BUT not only did I spend the night in a foreign country, but I got to spend it with my amazing big sister, Jamie Jaye.  To be honest, she is the best big sister on this earth. (I am, admittedly, biased. However, I am also right.) After getting in some much needed familia time in Hawaii, she allowed me to get a taste of Korean life. Metaphorically of course, but also literally... although I don't know if I'll be eating kimchi or pickled radish ever again. It was my first immersion in a foreign culture, and in those three days I learned more than I thought possible for the time given. It was the first time I was ever the minority. I was the one at whom people stared; I was the clueless one with whom people would get frustrated; I was the foreign one. I think it is a good warm-up for the next part of my grand adventure. I am currently in Hong Kong Airport and will be boarding my plane to Joberg in around an hour. Luckily, throughout this travel whirlwind I have had a companion: an inexorable knot in the pit of my stomach, my own little conglomerate of excitement and anxiety. For now, it is keeping me awake. If I let myself, I will worry about my checked bags, my carry-ons, my connections, my money, my passport, customs, etc. The fact that I worry so much is of course no good. For we should "not be anxious about anything" (Phil 4:6) but I think God also sees the implications behind it. I worry because this means so much to me. All of the things God has been teaching me and showing me have all been intertwined with one another, and this is the pinnacle. The very thing for which my heart has been subconsciously crying out: a respite from the demands of college life and a coming together of international community to have one overflowing heart for our sweet Jesus. I'm freaking pumped, y'all. God is already sweetly  breaking me of things and walls have already started to slowly come down... AND I'M NOT EVEN IN MOZAMBIQUE YET! Crazy stuff. I can't wait until I get there and dive into this new environment. God will rock my world, just you wait. I have learned lately how okay it is to have expectations for God. We have expectations for our peers, our professors, our family, why not my Best Friend? The secret behind this, though, is that God has a tendency to overdeliver in the best of ways. You ask Him for food enough for 1 and he will give you food enough for 5,000. Wow, we serve the coolest God! So by all means I earnestly desire and expect for God to move in my life, knowing I will uphold my part in the process as well. So my dear friends? Pray for me please, for this is the biggest thing to happen to me since the womb. I love you all very much!

Over and out, Girlscout.

Here Goes Nothing...

Life. Life astounds me. Sometimes I have these moments, moments where I pause and ask myself, "how on earth did I get here?" They are humbling and confusing, but most of all they are liberating. I can't help but be reminded of Psalm 8 ; how is it that such a feeble, limited and sinful creature is intimately wanted by an omnipotent, limitless and perfect God? 

Gosh, God is good. 

If you would have asked me early October, "Avery, what are your plans for this summer?" I would have confidently said I was going to be a summer camp counselor. My whole life that has been the plan : to be that crazy-obnoxious-Jesus-loving-Chaco-wearing-nature-freak counselor for a summer or two. Maybe land a gig in Colorado so I could do all this AND be in the mountains. Oh, yes... I had it all planned out.

God laughed. "Silly Avery, I have so much more in store for you, just wait!"

I will be traveling to Pemba, Mozambique, Africa this summer to attend Harvest School which is put on by Iris Ministries. (More info about that can be found by clicking the link on the right.) Never having spent the night out of this country, I know this will be the most terrifying yet exciting thing I have ever done. And friends? While I could give you every last detail of this trip, in my humble opinion, it is most important for me to communicate to each of you my heart behind this journey.

God moves. Through the power of the Spirit, God moves. I believe that while God can teach and mold and challenge me here in the States, there are more lessons for me to learn through seeing other cultures. Like Heidi Baker has said, there is only one direction in ministry : lower still. I am excited to go lower and lower until I am so humbled that nothing but worship pours out of me. To serve the poorest of the poor and learn from them. To see Jesus in the broken and needy. But I am excited most of all to pursue what it means to love, to truly love like my Jesus does. Without a doubt in my mind, I am going to be changed this summer. God is going to tear down my walls, my precepts, my failures, my sinful wicked heart and lovingly build me back up in truth, knowledge, and power.

John 14:12 shows us that we will do even greater things than Jesus, and this is for what I strive. I want to join in the revival going on in Mozambique, and for God to reach these villages through the teams that Harvest School sends out this summer. I want the Kingdom to be proclaimed and God to receive glory. It may sound crazy to expect so much in one summer but I am confident in what God has prepared for those who love Him (1 Corinthians 2:9).

So my dear friends, thank you. Though these two words seem too trivial to convey my heart, I have to say it. Thanks to each of you for watching me learn and grow into a lover of Jesus. For supporting me in every way, and backing up the work God is doing/going to do in my life. I say this not-too-lightheartedly, but I absolutely could not do this without the community with which I am blessed. I am fired up to continue to share my experiences with you all, so please please please check back periodically to hear the latest haps in Mozambique!

Love you all !